A man should know: IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO HUMILIATE and insult his wife BY CALLING her rude words. Harsh words - WILL BE REMEMBERED, will leave a wound on the heart and will be expelled from there - Love. A man DOES NOT HAVE the right to COMMAND, shout, offend, and TO SUBMIT his wife by FORCE or violence. A man must CAREFULLY and lovingly treat his wife so that the wife, out of RESPECT for the man, wants to obey him. Elder Paisiy says that without love you CANNOT even subjugate the Cat.
It is IMPOSSIBLE to raise your hands against your wife and beat her. If a man raises his hand to a woman, then with his own hands he DESTROYS his happiness. Not a single normal man will ever ALLOW himself to treat a woman RUDELY and VASTLY, not to mention to OFFEND her or HUMILIATE her and subjugate her - by force. And you need to remember the Russian folk proverb: “You won’t be NICE by force!” Therefore, such rude men in vain hope that women will love them - for RUDE and VIOLENCE - NO, and again NO!
Many people are UNHAPPY on earth: either they are LONELY, or they have BAD families, or they are UNLUCKY in life. And all only because people DID NOT OBEY their parents, were rude to them, swore at them, offended their parents, insulted and humiliated them, condemned them, and therefore God did NOT GIVE them happiness! Until they - REPENT and confess these - Grave Sins and CORRECT - begin to treat their parents kindly and with respect - God WILL NOT GIVE them happiness on earth. The commandment of God says: HONOR your Father and your mother - may it be GOOD for you on earth, may you be LONG and HEALTHY in your life! This is God's Law! Whoever violates it deprives himself of all the good things in life!
Why are there so many unhappy families? Families are UNHAPPY mainly due to SELFISHNESS, pride and indifference of people to each other. A woman SHOULD remember that there are things that she SHOULD NEVER allow herself to do, under any circumstances. You can’t command your husband. You cannot insult or humiliate your husband. Rude and evil words - DESTROY family relationships and KILL - love! . You can’t laugh at him, you can’t flaunt and discuss your family relationships with others. You cannot insult his parents, relatives and friends in front of your husband or without him. Because the WOUNDS that are inflicted will never heal. Maybe they will continue to live together, but without love. Love will simply disappear. Try to treat your parents and relatives and friends of your husband or wife WELL and help them if they need any help. When we treat them kindly - we treat them, help them and take care of them - then our husband or wife, seeing our KIND attitude towards his parents, his family and friends - STARTS to love and respect us MORE. If we begin to treat our spouse’s parents and loved ones BADLY, then by doing so we CAUSE him Great pain and Resentment, which over time can DESTROY the family. Also try to be - NICE - to your spouse's friends. It is important that they are GOOD people, and the rest does not matter. And men must NOT FORGET that a good wife is the first and most IMPORTANT Friend and CHANGING your wife and your children for friends is STUPID.
YOU MUST remember that “An obstinate, harmful, scandalous, unyielding wife - there is a FIRE in the house and the family dies because of this!” Family happiness - unless the husband is a SCAG, not an EGOIST-tyrant and not a bitter drunkard - DEPENDS only on the wife! It’s sad if the husband is normal, but there is NO agreement in the family. In family life, the smart person is not the one who insists on having his way, but the one who knows how to give in on time. In small things - always give in, little things are not worth arguing or swearing over. Never answer with the word “No” to your husband’s proposal, even if you are categorically against it, say this: “It’s not a bad idea, but this and that confuses me,” and calmly state your objections. And then, listen to your husband's reasons. It is possible that you will be convinced that he is right. And if the truth is on your side, then after listening to your calm arguments, he himself will agree with you and will respect you more for the fact that you do not stir up a scandal. And the agreement between you will become stronger. The woman who acts unreasonably and STUPIDLY is the one who is always DISSATISFIED with her husband, gets irritated and rudely yells at him, ignores his opinion and does not listen, does everything in her own way, grumbles at him, constantly finds fault, and nags her husband or children. There has never been a case where someone who is scolded and nagged in this way has corrected his shortcomings. Usually, in this case, the husband STARTS to rush and leave home, spend less time in it, starts drinking, and may even find another woman who will be more attentive and kinder to him than his own wife. And it turns out that the woman herself cuts and DESTROYS the foundations of her family happiness. - “We don’t keep what we have—we cry when we lose it!” The greatest feat of married life is, despite everything, to SAVE the family. It is most important. Even folk wisdom says: “If you endure it, you will fall in love.” That is, before learning to love, you NEED to learn each other’s weaknesses - to endure and FORGIVE each other - always and in everything. And so, fulfill the law of Christ. You need to LEARN - to endure kindly, to humble yourself, YOU NEED to learn - to KEEP peace. This is what constitutes the basis of family life. If this is not the case, then, of course, saving the family can be difficult.
People, when they - GET MARRIED, after registration - must - GET MARRIED in church - otherwise later, when they - DIE and come to God - their souls will NEVER - MEET in Paradise and will be forever - Separated from each other forever! It is necessary for Orthodox Christians to get married, but in our times there is no way to Rush in this serious matter - it is IMPOSSIBLE. Categorically - you CANNOT do what many women WANT, through the Sacrament of Wedding - to TIE your husband more tightly to yourself, such a wedding the Lord DOES NOT ACCEPT and does not BLESS - there WILL BE NO happiness. A wedding in a church is not INSURANCE against divorce, and not a “magic” MEANS to TIE your spouse STRONGER to yourself. Such a consumerist attitude towards the Sacrament of Wedding is a Sin. Before the Wedding, the husband and wife must - LOVE each other truly and treat each other well, they must be ready for the Sacrament of Wedding to be performed on them. Both spouses must be believers, churchgoers, and not make-believe, that is, they must live a Spiritual life - know a certain minimum of prayers and constantly pray, they must with DESIRE - go to Sunday and holiday services in church and understand the seriousness and importance of this. They must be able to Confess their sins and observe Fasts, and most importantly, they MUST strive to keep the Commandments of God. Then such married marriages DO NOT BREAK UP, because divorce in general is simply impossible, and therefore the spouses live in peace, in love and harmony among themselves all their lives.
1. The husband must be the Master - in his family, but the owner - KIND and Generous, and the wife must be - KIND and OBEDIENT to her husband. Husbands are indifferent to the house and DO NOT HELP their wives in only two cases: A) Either the husband is a Selfish and Dishonest person and DOES NOT LOVE his wife. B) Either the wife herself - proud, obstinate and harmful, STRIVES to be - Main and - Command everyone. Usually such families break up
2. The secret of happiness in family life is the kind ATTENTION of the spouses to each other. A husband and wife must constantly show each other SIGNS of the most TENDER Attention and love. We need to PLEASE our family members MORE OFTEN and give them a good mood. Do something good and pleasant for your loved ones more often. GIVE - small gifts and make pleasant and unexpected surprises, even just buying something in the store that your spouse loves - and treating it, is already a big deal!
3. RESPECT and TRUST for each other. If there is NO Trust and Respect for each other in a family, this means that there is NO Love, that people live in a family - each with their own lives, and this is Loneliness together - the saddest thing that can happen in a family relationship. All together this means that between people either love is GONE, or it never HAPPENED.
4. FREEDOM in the family is one of the MAIN and most important conditions for a happy family life. Each of the spouses must be - CONFIDENT in the other, as in himself, knowing that he will always be CORRECTLY understood, will never be let down, betrayed and Abandoned - in trouble. You cannot - by force or material dependence - subordinate your spouse. You cannot IMPOSE and dictate to him YOUR will and your vision of life, your views on life, establish and demand fulfillment without the voluntary consent of your spouse - some rules of behavior and life. It is impossible to HUMILIATE, break and trample a person - God will not bless such a family and there will be no happiness in it. The Lord gave the Commandment - “Love your neighbor as yourself”! That's all! Either we treat our neighbors well and with RESPECT - and God blesses us and gives us happiness for our obedience and fulfillment of this Great Commandment of God! Either we treat our neighbors BADLY and therefore God punishes us and there is NO good in our lives. Therefore, the first rule is RESPECT your spouse, ACCEPT him as he is and rejoice and thank God that this person lives next to you, and that in his heart the Lord has INVESTED Love for you and therefore TAKE CARE - this is Great and a precious feeling! Cultivate it and STRENGTHEN it with your love, your tender attention, consent and understanding, your respect for your loved one. Rudeness, indifference, selfishness, reproaches, nagging, swearing, shouting, irritability, lack of respect, humiliation, COMMAND Tone - like “I said it!” – all this DESTROYS and destroys people’s love – DESTROYS families. The Lord, for a BAD attitude towards your neighbors, can DEPRIVE you of love and then there will be nothing good in your life. What we have, we don’t keep; when we lose it, we cry!
5. Common interests. Family is WE. A family is one big whole - indivisible, and therefore in a family - each of the spouses CANNOT live their own life separate from the other spouse. If in a family the spouses STARTED to live their own lives, such a family will soon BREAK UP. This is one of the laws of family life. WE NEED TO DISCUSS the pressing problems together. Important decisions MUST be made only TOGETHER. If you ask for advice, it means you RESPECT, and this is always GOOD and serves to STRENGTHEN family relationships. Take an interest in the affairs of your husband and your wife, ask them about their work, find out about their plans and doubts in order to advise something, help with something. Get out together outside the apartment - on a visit, to a cafe, to a museum, to a theater, for a walk in some park! Be together more often, it brings you closer. Try to communicate more. Despite being very busy outside the home and having numerous household chores, FIND time for family communication. A huge number of married couples have broken up only because the spouses have almost STOP communicating with each other.
6. MONEY. The family budget should be COMMON. None - Yours and Mine, only one wallet. No one should hide or HIDE any money or income from the other spouse; spouses should always know how much each of them earns. No secret bank accounts. Otherwise, there WILL NOT BE trust, and if there is no trust, love WILL GO AWAY. Spouses must decide TOGETHER what purchases and things they will buy and what they will spend the money on. In money matters there must be complete TRUST - otherwise any FALSE or CONCEALING of monetary income can DESTROY the trust of spouses in each other, and this is the beginning of family breakdown. One of the spouses earns MORE, and the other earns LESS or does not work at all - this does not mean anything at all. Everything happens. God forbid you, to reproach your spouse with a small salary is the best way to RUIN your family - you will not find a family! How to live with a stingy person? God does not give happiness to such people. Also, it often happens that in a family - someone is better off financially, and the other is worse off - this also does not matter. On the contrary, the more prosperous spouse should rejoice that he HAS the opportunity to HELP his spouse and his loved ones and relatives, and with his KINDNESS, his selfless help and care, firmly TIE their hearts to himself. Women often consider DEPENDENCE on a man as a manifestation of personal weakness. Relying on a loved one is a good SIGN of normal family relationships. This is a SIGN of a friendly family and close relationships.
Give each other some FREE space. Each of us can have our own interests, our own friends, time for ourselves, but it SHOULD NOT be SECRET so that your spouse does not think that you have something to hide. Respect the freedom, rights and hobbies of the person close to you. Never get into your bag or pockets, Do not rummage through desk drawers, Do not read other people’s letters and notes, Do not check your mobile phone or notebooks, Do not go to your spouse’s personal pages on the Internet - you are not a gendarme and not the prosecutor and your spouse - not the criminal. There SHOULD BE NO SECRETS or secrets from each other in a family. If in a family there is NO close, trusting relationship between spouses, this means that between husband and wife there is NO Trust, consent and mutual understanding, which means NO Love, therefore NO family!
Why do many people, having quarreled, CANNOT make peace with each other? Can't they forgive each other? Yes, because the person who is guilty DOESN’T WANT to admit his GUILT, his WRONGNESS! Admitting one's MISTAKES is the most IMPORTANT and MOST IMPORTANT thing in people's relationships, and this is especially IMPORTANT in the family relationships of spouses. If people RECOGNIZE their mistakes, RECOGNIZE that they are WRONG, and ask for Forgiveness, then TRUST appears between people and only then is dialogue, RECONCILIATION and achievement of agreement between them POSSIBLE. Only then do relationships between people begin to DEVELOP further. If people DO NOT RECOGNIZE their mistakes and their WRONGNESS, do not want to correct themselves, then a WALL appears - of misunderstanding and resentment between people, trust DISAPPEARS, family relationships reach a dead end and begin to CRASH. Then people CANNOT and ARE NOT ABLE to come to an agreement and truly reconcile with each other.
Remember one very wise rule: If you quarrel during the day, you must RECONCILE before the evening! If you quarrel at night, you must MAKE UP before the morning! Compliance with this law will SAVE your relationships and your family! Don't do it out of spite. Try NOT to HURT someone else. Never give any ultimatums - to each other. Do not order, do not command, do not speak in an orderly tone that does not tolerate objections. DON'T YELL - at each other, don't even RAISE your voice. Never CRITICISE each other, try to refrain from reproaches and claims against each other - all these are types of Aggression, which will definitely turn against you - your spouse, and as a rule will lead to quarrels. Don't make fun of each other. Swearing, insults and quarrels, criticism, any complaints - KILL love, DESTROY - family relationships and family! And if a quarrel occurs, then - DO NOT HUMILIATE or insult the other person, DO NOT call him - HURTING words and try to stop the quarrel and reconcile in a kind way, try to calm the other person down. Therefore, always try to be FIRST - to approach and make peace. It is important.
One of the main reasons for the BAD family life of spouses, as well as for the Loneliness of people, is the INABILITY and reluctance of people to treat people WELL, Women - to men, and Men - to women. Many women - treat men BADLY - CONSIDER them as bad, unreliable people, drunkards, quitters, womanizers - DO NOT RESPECT - men. But not all men are drunkards and womanizers - there are a LOT of normal men and JUDGING everyone is a big Sin! That’s why all such women DO NOT have family happiness, because they DO NOT RESPECT other people and men, they consider them WORSE, they think about themselves and think Evilly about people! There will be no happiness for their daughters either. IT WILL NOT happen until they REPENT of this sin and CORRECT and learn to RESPECT men. And you MUST learn to treat all people WELL - otherwise there will be no good in life. A man is the image of God; by not respecting men, a woman insults God! Therefore, the Lord does not give such women happiness!
We need to PROTECT love in the family! We need to take care of our feelings for each other! You need to take care of your family! You need to Fight for your love and, if necessary, then PROTECT it from everyone who wants to destroy your family - even if they are people close and dear to you! You need to understand that God gives love and happiness - only once! And if a person knows that he is loved and yet STRUGGLES over his loved one, DOES NOT VALUE his feelings, insults and humiliates the person who loves him, treats him Unfairly - then he thereby KILLS - in this person Self-Love and Destroys his family! Such a person must know that God will never GIVE him happiness again! After all, they gave it to him once, but he didn’t save it! But if a person - REPENTS and CHANGES - becomes a kind person, if the Lord - BELIEVES him - then God can forgive him and can give him happiness again. This happens sometimes.
It is very dangerous to DENY a man - ATTENTION and SEX - without a good reason, for example, illness. And it is IMPOSSIBLE to deceive at all - sooner or later the deception will be revealed and then - DIVORCE. A man will neither tolerate nor forgive. Often a wife, BEING OFFENSED by her husband, or wanting to achieve something, DENIES him intimacy, SEX. This is not only a big STUPIDITY, but it is provoking a husband to cheat, and this is a direct DESTRUCTION of the family! Well, one time, you were offended and refused to have sex with your husband, two times - you are showing your whim or giving an ultimatum to your husband, three times - you refused, saying that you are supposedly not in the mood or have a headache, and the fourth time, your husband will either take a mistress - and this Sin falls on you. Or he will leave completely and FIND himself another woman who will always need him. By doing this, over and over again - REFUSING sex to your husband - you yourself PUSH your husband away - from yourself and in the end he will LOSE all interest in you. And then, it will be too late to cry - he will NOT NEED you, and if he DOESN’T NEED you - as a woman, then even more so as a wife. That’s it, you can consider that you no longer have your family. A man, when he is denied intimacy, perceives it as a very serious personal offense that may never be forgiven. Sex, of course, is not the main thing, it only helps so that people BE REALLY CLOSE to each other. But for a man, the understanding that he is always NEEDED and close to his wife is very IMPORTANT, and if a woman DENIES him Sex, Intimacy, then he REVIEWS this as a REJECTION of himself, for him it is humiliating, and most importantly, he begins to know that the woman DOES NOT LOVE him. This is one of the main reasons when husbands LEAVE their wives. And very IMPORTANT! Husbands - TEACH your wives - CHASTITY. Do not allow any sinful perversions in sex - do not corrupt your loved one and yourself. If there are such Sinful desires or there have been attempts - Confess these sins and be PURE. Where perverted lustful passion dwells, love LEAVES. And if love goes away, YOU WILL LOSE your loved one and family. Keep - pure relationships, this is the key to family happiness.
Parents - try to explain to your children so that they TAKE CARE of their PURITY - CHASTITY and before marriage - DO NOT ENTER INTO SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH ANYONE. This is very, very IMPORTANT! Otherwise, they WILL NOT have happiness in life. God WILL NOT GIVE! Your children SHOULD NOT watch any kind of Pornography or Erotica. Pornography and Erotica – DEPRIVES a person of SHAME and CORRUPTS the soul. And the person who has LOST Shame is LEAVED by the Lord and does not keep. Girls must TAKE CARE of their Maiden HONOR - men APPRECIATE this very much and therefore everyone is so PURE, girls always get married EASY - and God gives them happiness, strong families and healthy children. It is also IMPORTANT that parents DO NOT ALLOW PRODIGIOUS cohabitation of your children in a civil marriage. If people love each other, they HONESTLY register their marriage and live together - only in a legal family. And the Lord blesses only such families. Because of Prodigal cohabitation, God DOES NOT GIVE family happiness to your children, and if there is NO family happiness, then people’s destinies DESTROY. In prodigal cohabitations, SICK and defective children with BAD genes are usually born; as a rule, such children DO NOT have anything good in life, and their parents are GUILTY for this - because they lived in a civil marriage. Hegumen Georgy (Shestun)
Quarrels and swearing always end BADLY, even if people seem to have calmed down and reconciled, but in reality this is not the case, in every person’s soul there always remains and gradually ACCUMULATES a bitter, offensive aftertaste and emptiness. Unsolvable problems and grievances of a person, if they DO NOT HEAR him, do not want to UNDERSTAND him, and do not take him into account, they can sooner or later forever RUIN relationships between people, and in family life they can LEAD TO THE DESTRUCTION of the family, to divorce! Our resentments, hostility, dissatisfaction and unkind feelings towards another person, if we DO NOT FORGIVE and do not put up with kindness, HAVE the ability to ACCUMULATE in the soul. If we DO NOT put up with each other kindly, if we do not strive to understand the other person, to give in to him, if we DO NOT WANT to agree with him, we do not want to take his opinion into account - then RESULTS accumulate in the souls of people and sooner or later late - families are DESTROYED. Therefore, if we kindly DO NOT FORGIVE each other, do not make peace with each other, then in the end all our grievances and claims against each other ACCUMULATE to a dangerous level, after which reconciliation between spouses is no longer POSSIBLE. Love and good feelings completely DISAPPEAR, giving way to bitterness and anger - families usually in this case fall apart. In addition to complete reconciliation between spouses, in order for grievances not to ACCUMULATE, and along with grievances, subconscious AGGRESSION in the souls of spouses, Repentance for sins and grievances is necessary, so that the Lord Himself will REMOVE from our souls all grievances, all aggression and discontent, and even itself - the memory of our grievances and claims to each other. When a lot of mutual grievances, dissatisfaction and claims against each other ACCUMULATE between spouses, then quarrels START to break out - over every trifle, which ultimately turns the family life of the spouses into a continuous battle and will not end well. Therefore, in order for the spouses to CALM DOWN and the long-awaited Peace and Harmony to come, it is necessary to GO to Confession in church and everything carefully - to confess and take communion. After this - there always COMES in the house - great Peace and Harmony and people live calmly and then they are surprised - how they used to quarrel so much and often among themselves. Detailed confession of our quarrels, grievances and claims against each other completely RESTORES good family relationships. That is, when we honestly, without hiding anything and WITHOUT JUSTIFYING ourselves - confess to the priest WHY - we treat each other BADLY, get irritated, shout, swear, grumble, reproach and offend each other, do not give in, do not forgive - it completely ERASES from our souls all the anger, all the discontent, all the irritability, all the grievances and claims towards each other, and our souls are FILLED with Peace, Love, and people begin to treat each other well and kindly and live peacefully. The house is restored - Peace and harmony, everyone feels good. Now you yourself understand how IMPORTANT sincere and detailed Repentance for your sins is. That is why, the Sacrament of Repentance and the Sacrament of Communion of the Holy Mysteries is the BEST medicine for the human soul and the BEST MEANS for IMPROVING family life and good marital relationships.
DANGER - JEALOUSY Jealousy is, as a rule, the ordinary SELFISHNESS of spouses. Many are jealous because they CONSIDER that a loved one is their PERSONAL PROPERTY – A THING. If a person’s jealousy is based - not on love, but on pure EGOISM, on the feeling of Ownership, on calculation - then such jealousy is INCORRECTABLE and very DANGEROUS. Then it is better to part with such a person, and it is dangerous to live with a jealous person. You should not confuse and mistake LOVE for Selfish jealousy - these are completely different things. To be jealous of someone who LOVES is complete senselessness and STUPIDITY, and to be jealous of someone who DOESN'T LOVE is simply Useless! Such people think only about themselves, so that only they feel good, and therefore, they consider themselves right to put forward their claims and dubious suspicions to their loved ones, to reproach, to RUIN their lives with scandals. They forget about the main thing, that RUDE, reproaches and swearing CANNOT force a person to love themselves, but it is very easy to LOSE your last feelings and relationships. A normal person CAN be a little jealous, but he IS JEALOUS - Silently, he doesn’t make a scandal because he doesn’t want to HURT his loved one with jealousy. And this feeling is normal, it shows that a person cares about another person. You won’t be forced to be nice! If a person DOESN’T LOVE you, then you will never MAKE him love you with RUDE, reproaches and scandals! On the contrary, you will only drive him away from you with your Bad Behavior and Wild Jealousy!
PARABLE - WHY PEOPLE QUARTER.
In one small town, two families live next door. Some spouses constantly quarrel, BLAMING each other for all troubles and finding out which of them is RIGHT, while others live peacefully and amicably, they have no quarrels, no scandals. The obstinate housewife marvels at her neighbor’s happiness. Jealous. He says to his husband: “Go and see how they do it so that everything is smooth and quiet.” He came to the neighbor's house and hid under the open window. Watching. Listens. And the hostess is just putting things in order in the house. He wipes the dust off an expensive vase. Suddenly the phone rang, the woman got distracted, and put the vase on the edge of the table, so that it was about to fall. But then her husband needed something in the room. He caught a vase, it fell and broke. “Oh, what’s going to happen now!” the neighbor thinks. The wife came up, sighed with regret, and said to her husband: “I’m sorry, dear.” I AM GUILTY. I placed the vase so carelessly. - What are you doing, honey? It's my fault. I was in a hurry and didn’t notice the vase. Anyway. I’ll give you another flower vase, even more beautiful. ... The neighbor’s heart sank painfully, he began to think, and the neighbor realized why he and his wife were constantly quarreling. He came home upset. His wife to him: “What took you so long?” Have you looked? - Yes, he says, he looked! - Well, how are they doing? – They are all GUILTY, they all calm each other down, feel sorry for each other. But with us, everyone is RIGHT. Neither you nor I give in to each other. That's why we fight with you all the time.
If the husband DRINKS, then the wife must KNOW that by this the Lord is PUNISHING the wife and only the wife and therefore DOES NOT GIVE her happiness in family life.
For - INDIFFERENCE towards God.
For - committed own Sins, mainly for PRIDE, inflated self-esteem,
For - disrespect and DISOBEDIENCE - your husband,
For - constant dissatisfaction - with your husband and your life,
For wanting a LOT, for GREED and selfishness,
For - Spiritual NEGLIGENCE and oblivion of God - for lack of humility.
Therefore, before you BLAME your husband for being so bad and a drunkard, wouldn’t it be better to do your own Repentance and correction? After all, God punished you with your husband’s drunkenness, first of all, which means that God expects from you Repentance, and most importantly, obedience and zealous life according to the Laws of God. The whole trouble is that if many normal women who love and care for their families HAD good husbands who, just like their wives, would love their families and take care of them, then, as the old man says Paisiy: “Both spouses would fall asleep - in their little earthly family happiness.” And so, they would LOST - the Kingdom of Heaven. But it happens that the husband is really an incorrigible drunkard - from a drinking family - usually you CANNOT CORRECT such people and it is better to marry them - NOT TO MARRY. If a man LIKES to drink and he drinks - every day, not at all - without worrying that with his drinking he is not allowing his loved ones to live - why live with him? This is silly. Spouses must - PROTECT their Faith in God, so that family happiness, everyday life, worries about children and the household - would not wean them off from praying and going to Church. So that they do not grow cold towards God, otherwise there may be trouble. God STOPS helping people if he SEES that people HAVE BEEN PASSIONATE with their household chores and troubles, building earthly well-being, STOPPED praying, going to church, BECOME INDIFFERENT towards God, BECOME ungrateful and selfish people. Then God - Leaves such careless people and REMOVES from them His Divine COVER - which KEPT people - from troubles and misfortunes. Then people START having difficult problems in life. Then don't cry. Many family quarrels often HAPPEN - only because the husband and wife pray BADLY or skip morning and evening prayers, RARELY go to church and DO NOT REPENT of their sins - and because of this there is no GOD'S PROTECTION over this family – that’s why the quarrels began.
A GRANDMOTHER'S ADVICE TO HER GRAND DAUGHTER. ADDRESS from great-grandmother Fedosya Ermolaevna to my mother on her wedding day:
1. – Never swear – with your husband in front of your children. They WILL NOT respect you or your father. And if children stop respecting their parents, then they will STOP obeying, then there will be trouble.
2. – Never COMMANDER your husband; it’s better to make him want what you want.
3. – Keep Peace in your home. Learn to forgive and be the first to make peace. Quarrels, insults and rudeness RUIN families. Peace in the family is most precious.
4. – Never clean the house when you’re in a bad mood. You'll spread even more dirt.
5. – Don’t be afraid and DON’T BE LAZY – study. A well-educated, intelligent, well-mannered wife has SMART, well-mannered children. And smart children usually have a great future and good families.
6. – DON’T BE JEALOUS – jealousy RUINS a family. If your husband loves you, he will not CHANGE, therefore KEEP - your spouse’s love and respect for yourself - then the husband will not go outside.
7. – Always prepare food that is TASTY and beautiful, people are not animals to eat mush.
8. – The main thing in a family is RESPECT for each other. THERE WILL BE - respect - THERE WILL be love. And people are respected only for KINDNESS, HONESTY, RESPONSIBILITY and decency - therefore, we must all STRIVE to be GOOD people and treat people with respect. Repost! Copy and Post - on your pages and blogs and with friends. Everyone needs to KNOW about this. There will be MORE - GOOD families and good children! Which means there will be MORE good people!
Excerpts from the book - HOW TO OBTAIN A STRONG FAITH IN GOD.
A Christian life that is capable of gaining favor before God and receiving His protection from death and injury is very simple, does not require material costs, and in general they are well known to many. Faith and piety are what is needed. It’s so simple and so difficult to do for someone.... Alas, there are often cases when soldiers heading to a war zone indulge in immeasurable drunkenness, or even fornication, motivating it all: “perhaps death is coming soon and you need to” enjoy "life". Is it really necessary to be crazy?!
Before going to a “hot spot”, sincerely repent and confess your sins (don’t leave with unconfessed sins!), after which be sure to take Communion. Already on the spot, find your fellow believers, and together ask the command to invite a priest to your unit more often for confession and Communion.
Get a blessing from the priest and then from your parents for the service. The meaning and power of the blessing is great. Through parental and priestly blessings, in a secret and incomprehensible way, by God’s grace, the warrior receives at the same time admonition, protection, and strength to survive.
Order a sorokoust from the church for your health; if the duration of your military trip or service is more than forty days, tell your relatives to order sorokoust again in the future. In this case, the Orthodox Church itself will pray for you, and the power of church prayer in intercession before God is several times stronger than any private prayer of a lay person.
A warrior must have a pectoral cross, consecrated in the temple. This is our main shrine. You can also take with you small pocket icons or small folding icons, in front of which you will pray if possible. As often as possible, prayerfully apply the sign of the cross to yourself before starting combat duty or a campaign, and especially before and during battle in dangerous moments. Do this without gloves and mittens, correctly, decorously and leisurely, otherwise you will only please demons with this desecrated sign of the cross.
About the power and meaning of the sign of the cross, Saint Cyril of Jerusalem wrote: “Let us not be ashamed to confess the Crucified One, let us boldly depict with our hands the sign of the cross on our foreheads and on everything: on the bread that we eat, on the cups from which we drink; let us depict it at the entrances, "When we go out, when we go to bed, and when we get up, when we are on the road and resting. He is a great protection given to the poor as a gift and to the weak without labor. For this is the grace of God, a sign for the faithful and fear for evil spirits."
A warrior must pray unceasingly, and for this there are many prayers officially recommended by the Church, and there are even prayer books for Orthodox warriors. It is still better to ask the priest for advice about the prayer rule that is appropriate and feasible for you. However, if you have not received such advice, it is recommended to read the famous psalm “Alive in the help of the Most High...” more often, constantly repeat the short Jesus Prayer: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me,” turn to the Most Holy Theotokos, “Most Holy Theotokos, save and save" etc. After the battle, thank God in prayer for your preservation. Eat your food prayerfully; this may help avoid intestinal infections and poisoning. The history of Orthodoxy describes cases in which poisons from the sign of the cross and prayer lost their deadly power.
When you successfully defeat the enemy, do not shout, like the opposing thief: "Glory to God!" before God. “Do not rejoice in the death of a person, even if he is the most hostile to you: remember that we will all die,” says the Holy Scripture (Sir. 8:8). And definitely don’t swear, foul language is not justified by God under any circumstances!
Take with you on the road a bottle of Holy water and several prosphora, antidor or even artos, which you need to immediately divide into small pieces and dry. Eat holy water and consecrated bread regularly with appropriate prayer (found in the prayer book) and especially on the eve of dangerous events.
For conservation and treatment (if you do get wounded), you can take with you the consecrated oil left after the unction (blessing of oil) or oil from lamps burning in front of revered or even miraculous icons found in churches in your area. To do this, you need to ask permission from the abbot of the temple and they will pour out some oil for you without any hindrance. Oil or lamp oil from icons is anointed with prayer on the forehead and chest before dangerous events, and in case of injury, on the place of injury. Thanks to this, the recovery of the believing warrior will speed up and will proceed without complications.
A warrior can receive very significant protection from death and injury thanks to the efforts of his parents, wife or girlfriend, and close friends. How? Firstly, loved ones themselves must constantly pray to God for his mercy and protection. Secondly, regularly, to the best of your ability, order church prayers for the health of the soldier. Thirdly, give alms more often, while donating money or something else, say to yourself, “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on Thy servant (name of the warrior), save and preserve, deliver from all evil.”
But what if the warrior is a formal Orthodox Christian who does not observe church canons? In this case, the only intercessors before God for his salvation will be his believing relatives, his beloved girlfriend and friends. Don’t despair when seeing your loved ones off to work. There are many known cases when, through the fervent and constant prayer of a mother, wife or friend, the Lord had mercy on a person, giving admonition and salvation. So pray, and the stronger your faith, the greater the chance that the person will return alive! I will only note that priests do not officially pray for those who have not been baptized in the church, but this can be freely done by the laity in their private prayer.
More thoughts on the topic of war
“This happened in the 7th century in Byzantium, during the reign of Caesar Nicephorus. At that time, there was a war with the pagan tribes inhabiting modern Bulgaria. A certain warrior Nicholas was drafted into the army, and went to the gathering place of his regiment. The journey lasted several days. The first night he stopped to rest - in a tavern in a small town. At midnight he was awakened by a knock on the door - it was the daughter of the owner of the tavern. When she received a young stranger as a guest, a carnal desire awoke in her. Entering his room, she without a shadow of embarrassment told him about the purpose of her visit. Nicholas was raised in a devout Orthodox family, and his conscience did not allow him to succumb to the shameful temptation. He decisively asked her to leave. She did not yield. Then, raising his voice, he explained to her that he was going to war. How can he denigrate his soul and body with such an action? In a few days he may die: what answer will he give to God for such an act? Having said this, he crossed himself and ran out of the tavern. Having found another place to stay for the night, he fell asleep and had a dream . A plain opened up to him, on which the battle between the Greeks and Bulgarians was raging. At first the Greeks took the lead, but the Bulgarians withstood the onslaught and then won. When Nicholas took a closer look at the fallen Greeks, his gaze stopped at some empty place where someone was missing. A mysterious voice explained to him that this place was destined for his day, but thanks to his resistance to temptation, the Lord God prolonged his life. Otherwise, he would have died, disgraced by sin, having no hope of saving his soul. Everything seen in the dream soon came true. So Nicholas, having withstood the temptation, saved his life and saved his soul from eternal condemnation."
Why do they survive in a monstrous meat grinder? Why does someone get captured and then still return alive, while someone in captivity dies brutally tortured? Why does someone emerge unharmed from a dense environment and make their way to their unit? Why does a soldier who fell from a great height into an abyss remain alive, and the bandits did not mock his unconscious body, did not shoot at him, but only took off his boots? After which he woke up, returned barefoot to his unit, while he also destroyed the enemy base... Why do people survive where it would seem impossible to survive? What power protects them?
There are thousands and thousands of testimonies from the times of the Great Patriotic War, when, by God’s will, people were saved from death in an incredible and miraculous way: holy saints appeared to them and warned them from danger; when nearby mines and shells exploded, people were thrown aside by an unknown force and remained alive, etc. .P.
In the history of the army and navy, there were three commanders who were never defeated on the battlefield - Generalissimo Alexander Vasilyevich Suvorov, Rear Admiral Fedor Fedorovich Ushakov and General Mikhail Dmitrievich Skobelev. Moreover, each of the listed commanders was a deeply religious person, distinguished by piety and did not begin or end a single battle without prayer. Reliance on the religious and moral feelings of the Russian soldier was an integral part of training and education, which these commanders placed at the head of their military training system. So A.V. Suvorov fought about 200 fights and battles throughout his life and did not lose a single one. Surprisingly, he won most of the battles when the enemy was 2-3 times superior, while for every killed Russian soldier there were 8-10 defeated opponents, and in the Italian campaign this ratio reached a simply fantastic value of 1:75 (! ). In the Battle of Rymnik, Yusuf Pasha’s army outnumbered the Russian-Austrian troops 5 times: 100 thousand Turks against 25 thousand coalition soldiers, while the Turks lost about 17 thousand killed and a large number of wounded, while A.V. Suvorov lost 45 (!) people killed and 133 wounded from his troops (ratio 1:20). Then, in the fall of 1789, having united the forces of the Russian troops (7 thousand people in total!) with the Austrian ones (18 thousand people - in fact, A.V. Suvorov commanded foreign troops that did not know his hand), using reconnaissance, he suddenly attacked the Turks (100 thousand . people!), standing in three groups between the rivers Rymna and Rymnik (History of Russia from the beginning of the 17th century to the end of the 19th century. Edited by A.N. Sakharov. - M.6 AST, 1996)
On the ships of F.F. Ushakov, a monastic order was established, the ships bore the names of saints and Christian holidays, just as the sailors loved their own father. Before the battle, the admiral admonished his sailors: “When going into battle, read Psalm 26, Psalm 50 and Psalm 90,” and added, “and neither a bullet nor a saber will take you.” In 1949, his grave was opened - his body and uniform were incorrupt, and now the admiral is officially canonized by the Russian Orthodox Church as a saint. This is how the Lord noted Ushakov’s great services to the Fatherland! In the battle of Temra Island, the Turkish fleet outnumbered the Russian squadron by 1.5 times, while the enemy was defeated and lost about 1,500 killed and about 600 - 700 wounded, and the Russian sailors lost only 20 people!
Legendary General M.D. Skobelev (he was also called the “white general” because he always dressed in a white uniform) during his short 38 years of life participated in 70 battles and never lost.
Truly the words here are true: “If you walk in my statutes and keep my commandments and do them... and drive out your enemies, they will fall before you by the sword; five of you will drive out a hundred, and a hundred of you will drive out the darkness and fall your enemies are before you by the sword" (Lev. 26:3-8).
It is bitter, knowing this historical evidence, to hear the words that the Soviet people won the Great Patriotic War thanks to I. Stalin and the godless Communist Party, rather in spite of, and at the same time losing almost 4 times more than fascist Germany. Many historians, not without reason, attribute the turning point in the course of the war in 1943 to the fact that the persecution of the Orthodox Church stopped. A well-known fact is Marshal G.K. Zhukov always carried with him an icon of the Kazan Mother of God.
These examples are given to emphasize the importance of religiosity and piety in commanders. General M.D. Skobelev liked to say: “The horse is prepared for battle in advance, but victory comes from God!”
Athonite Elder Tikhon Before giving advice, he prayed, called on the Holy Spirit to come and enlighten him, so that his advice would be useful to the one who asks. He said: “The Lord left us the Holy Spirit so that we could be enlightened. He is our only leader. Therefore, our Church always begins its service with the invocation of the Holy Spirit: “Heavenly King, Comforter, Soul of Truth.”
“Praying is a very simple thing, but at the same time very difficult. You know how a child prays to his mother. It does not look for skillful words, but simply speaks and asks for help. This is how you ask God simply, without any art, and the Lord will hear your request. But at the same time be wise to remain focused on prayer.” (Holy Righteous John of Kronstadt)
“Oh, man, learn Christ’s humility, and the Lord will give you to taste the sweetness of prayer...
Pray simply like a child, and the Lord will hear your prayer, for our Lord is such a Merciful Father that we cannot understand or imagine it, and only the Holy Spirit reveals to us His great love.” (Reverend Silouan of Athos)
“Self-justification closes spiritual eyes, and then a person sees something other than what really is.
Your salvation and your destruction are in your neighbor. Your salvation depends on how you treat your neighbor. Do not forget to see the image of God in your neighbor.
Do every task, no matter how insignificant it may seem to you, carefully, as if before the face of God. Remember that the Lord sees everything.” (Reverend Nikon of Optina)
“You cannot overcome a single passion or a single sin without grace-filled help; always ask for help from Christ your Savior. This is why He came into the world, this is why He suffered, died and rose again, in order to help us in everything, to save us from sin and from the violence of passions, to cleanse our sins, to give us in the Holy Spirit strength to do good deeds, so that enlighten us, strengthen us, pacify us. You say: how can you be saved when there is sin at every step and you sin at every moment? The answer to this is simple: at every step, at every minute, call on the Savior, remember the Savior and you will be saved, and you will save others.” (Holy Righteous John of Kronstadt)
“Gently and non-violently place yourself in the hands of God, and He will come and bestow grace on your soul.” (Athos Elder Porfiry)
“Do not first begin any work, apparently the smallest and most insignificant, until you call on God to help you put it into action. The Lord said: “Without Me you cannot do anything,” i.e. lower to say, lower to think. In other words: without Me you have no right to do any good deed! And for this reason, one must call on God’s gracious help either in words or mentally: “Lord bless, Lord help!” with the assurance that without God’s help we cannot do anything useful or saving...” (Athos Elder Kirik (Russian Elder))
“...Have moderation and reasoning in everything.” (Athos Elder Joseph the Hesychast)
“Take care of your conscience, it is the voice of God - the voice of the Guardian Angel. Learn how to take care of your conscience from the elder Father Ambrose of Optina. He acquired the grace of the Holy Spirit. Wisdom without grace is madness.
Remember the words of Father Ambrose: “Where it’s simple, there are a hundred angels, but where it’s sophisticated, there’s not a single one.” Achieve the simplicity that only perfect humility gives. Achieve in humility love, simple, perfect, embracing prayer for everyone, everyone...
He is wise who has acquired the holy spirit, trying to fulfill all the commandments of Christ. And if he is wise, then he is humble.” (Elder Zechariah)
“Those who are sick, do not lose heart, for you are saved by illness; you who are poor, do not grumble, for through poverty you gain imperishable wealth; you who mourn, do not despair, for consolation awaits you from the Spirit who Comforts you.
Do not be angry, do not complain at each other, do not be angry, do not scold, do not be angry, but be angry only at sins, at the demon that leads to sin: be angry at heretics, do not make peace with them, but among yourself, faithful in peace, in love , live in harmony. Those who have, help the have-nots; the rich, give more; the poor, be merciful according to your strength...” (Hieromartyr Seraphim (Zvezdinsky))
“Our life is not about playing with cute toys, but about giving as much light and warmth to the people around us. And light and warmth are love for God and neighbors...
From a young age, you need to lead your life correctly, but by old age you can’t get time back. One wise man was asked: “What is most valuable?” - “Time,” answered the sage, “because with time you can buy everything, but you can buy time itself for nothing...
Take care of your precious, golden time, hurry to gain peace of mind.” (Reverend Confessor George, Danilovsky Wonderworker)
advised his spiritual children: “If you need to leave the Liturgy, then leave after the “Our Father... And if you have already left with the Communion of the Body and Blood, then stand with fear and pray in place, because the Lord himself is present here with the Archangels and Angels. And if you can, shed at least a small tear about your unworthiness.”
“Mental life is made up of daily, hourly, every minute thoughts, feelings, desires; all this - like small drops, merging, form a stream, rivers, sea - make up integral lives. And just as a river or lake is light or cloudy because the drops in them are light or cloudy, so life is joyful or sad, clean or dirty because such are the every-minute and daily thoughts and feelings. Such will be the endless future - happy or painful, glorious or shameful - what are our everyday thoughts and feelings that gave this or that appearance, character, property to our soul. It is extremely important to protect yourself every day, every minute from all pollution.” (St. Nicholas of Japan)
“All sciences and knowledge are nothing without the science of salvation... You must know that the path of salvation is the path of the Cross... In the matter of salvation, the most important role is played by the Holy Scripture and the writings of the Holy Fathers - this is the best guide to salvation... After reading the holy books Repentance also plays a significant role in saving the soul. Apart from repentance, there is no other way to salvation. Nowadays people are saved only through sorrow and repentance. Without repentance there is no forgiveness, there is no correction... Repentance is a ladder leading to heaven... The burden of our sins is removed by repentance and confession.
Salvation also lies in the fight against our passions... Those who are busy knowing themselves, their shortcomings, sins, passions, have no time to notice others. Remembering our own sins, we will never think about strangers... The one who judges harms three: himself, the one listening to him and the one he is talking about... Let us better notice virtues in others, and find sins in ourselves...
Knowing yourself is the most difficult and most useful knowledge... Knowing yourself, your sinfulness is the beginning of salvation... In order to accustom ourselves not to condemn anyone, we need to immediately pray for the sinner, so that the Lord will correct him, we need to sigh for our neighbor, in order to breathe for yourself at the same time. Do not judge your neighbor: you know his sin, but his repentance is unknown. In order not to judge, you must run from those who judge and keep your ears open. Let’s take one rule for ourselves: don’t believe those who judge; and another thing: never speak ill of those who are absent. Do not think evil about anyone, otherwise you yourself will become evil, for a good person thinks good, and an evil person thinks evil. Let us remember the old folk sayings: “What you condemn someone for, you yourself will be in”; “Know yourself - and it will be with you.” The short way to salvation is not to judge. This is the way - without fasting, without vigil and labor.
Not every deed is pleasing to God, but only what is done correctly with reasoning... For example, you can fast, but with grumbling about the fast, or about the food, or about the food preparer; You can fast, but condemn those who do not fast, fast and be vain about fasting, run around your neighbor with your tongue. You can endure illness or sorrow, but grumble against God or people, complain about your lot... Such “good deeds” are displeasing to the Lord, since they are done without prudence...” (Reverend Simeon (Zhelnin))
“You live more simply, like a little child. The Lord is so loving that you cannot even imagine. Even though we are sinners, still go to the Lord and ask for forgiveness. Just don’t be discouraged - be like a child. Even though he broke the most expensive vessel, he still goes to his father crying, and the father, seeing his child crying, forgets that expensive vessel. He takes this child in his arms, kisses it, presses it to himself and himself persuades his child so that it does not cry. So is the Lord, although it happens that we commit mortal sins, He still waits for us when we come to Him with repentance...
Without God - not to the threshold. If all your affairs are going well, smoothly, it means that the Lord has blessed them, and any planned work is being done, and if there are any obstacles in anything, then it is true that it is against God’s will; It’s better not to spin around - nothing will work out anyway, but submit to the will of God...
Whoever gives you a hat, and you thank him - that’s alms for you...
Live, don’t worry, don’t be afraid of anyone. If someone scolds you, be silent; and if you walk by when someone scolds or condemns someone, don’t listen.” (Archimandrite Afinogen (Agapov))
Schema-abbot Savva (Ostapenko) when resolving “perplexed” questions, he blessed his spiritual children to draw lots. Schema-abbot Savva said: “It is possible and even commendable to use lots in perplexed cases. Before this, you need to bow three times with the Jesus Prayer and read “To the Heavenly King”, three times “Our Father”, three times “Rejoice to the Virgin Mary” and “I Believe”. You just need to have living faith and trust in God.”
Schema-abbot Savva advised believers to read the following prayer daily at home: “In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and his suffering for the human race, depart, enemy of the human race, from this house for 24 hours. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen".
Reverend Seraphim Vyritsky advised his spiritual children to read the prayer of St. as often as possible. Ephraim the Syrian “Lord and Master of my life...”. He said that this prayer contains the whole essence of Orthodoxy, the whole Gospel: “By reading it, we ask the Lord for help in acquiring the properties of a new person.”
“There are no difficulties that have no solution in Christ. Surrender to Christ and He will find a solution for you.
Don't be afraid of difficulties. Love them, thank God for them. They have some purpose for your soul.
Gently and non-violently place yourself in the hands of God, and He will come and bestow grace on your soul.” (Athos Elder Porfiry)
“In everything, have moderation and reasoning...” (Athos Elder Joseph)
“Don’t seek comfort from people. And when you receive a little consolation from someone, expect double sorrow. Seek consolation and help from God alone.” (Elder Jerome of Aegina)
“A golden mean is needed in everything and moderation. But in relation to serving God and one’s salvation, constancy is needed. It is the main thing, not haste, not excessiveness... If you drive more quietly, you will go further. (Reverend Sebastian of Karaganda)
“To live as a Christian, stick to the Orthodox Church. Live a Christian life. Once a month you need to take communion, drink Epiphany water at home and part of the holy prosphora in the morning.
The Gospel says: “Your faith has saved you,” that is, the first Christians had great faith. The Lord reminded them to have a living faith and high Christian piety. So they tried to live for real. The Lord blessed them for their labors and exploits. They strongly confessed Christ, believed in Him and often gave their lives - like the holy healer Panteleimon, St. George the Victorious (Diocletian's first minister), Great Martyr Barbara, Great Martyr Paraskeva, Great Martyr Catherine and others... These are the lights of the first Christian people! Imitate them, read them, follow them.
May God grant you success in everything, and go from strength to strength, and achieve the highest spiritual perfection.” (Elder Theophilus (Rossokha))
“Never make any promises. As soon as you give it, the enemy will immediately begin to interfere. For example, regarding eating meat. Don’t make a vow, or at least don’t eat for the rest of your life.
Alms can be given not only for peace, but also for health, for this brings great benefit to the soul.” (Reverend Alexy (Soloviev))
Venerable Lavrentiy of Chernigov said: “You need to have peace in your soul. Salvation is difficult, but wise. At this time, you need to be wise, and you will be saved... Happy are those who are written in the “Book of Life”.
In order to be recorded in the “Book of Life”, you need to read the prayer of John Chrysostom “Lord, do not deprive me of Your heavenly blessings”..., talk with the Lord with your mind. Anyone who has an attraction to the church is written in the “Book of Life.”
“Do nothing of your own free will, feel the presence of God in every place, and therefore do everything as before God, and not before people.” (Glinsky Elder Andronik (Lukash))
“We must do everything within our power. All the energy is spent on the body, but only a few sleepy minutes are left for the soul. Is this possible? We must remember the words of the Savior: Seek first the kingdom of God... and so on. This commandment is like “thou shalt not kill,” “thou shalt not commit fornication,” etc. Violation of this commandment often harms the soul more than an accidental fall. It imperceptibly cools the soul, keeps it insensible, and often leads to spiritual death... We must at least once a day for a few minutes put ourselves on trial before the Lord, as if we had died and on the fortieth day we stand before the Lord and await the saying about us where the Lord will send us. Having presented ourselves mentally before the Lord in anticipation of judgment, we will cry and beg God’s mercy for mercy on us, for the release of our huge unpaid debt. I advise everyone to take this into constant practice until death. It’s better in the evening, or at any time, to concentrate with all your soul and beg the Lord to forgive us and have mercy; even better several times a day. This is the commandment of God and the Holy Fathers, take at least a little care of your soul. Everything passes, death is behind us, and we don’t think at all about what we will appear in court with and what the Righteous Judge, who knows and remembers our every movement - the most subtle - of soul and body from youth to death, will pronounce about us. How will we respond?
That is why the Holy Fathers cried here and begged the Lord for forgiveness, so as not to cry at the Judgment and in eternity. If they needed to cry, then why do we, the damned, consider ourselves good and live so carelessly and think only about everyday things. Forgive me, teaching and doing nothing.
May the Lord grant us patience for our infirmities, and to bear the burdens of those around us not only without grumbling, but also with gratitude to the Lord our Savior, who suffered all sorts of insults and suffering for our sake. May the Lord give you unfeigned, true love for your neighbors and for all people...
To him who loves the Lord, everything will speed to salvation,” and from the Lord a person’s feet are straightened. No one saved himself, but we all have one Savior. A person can only desire salvation, but he cannot save himself. One must desire salvation, recognizing oneself as perishing, unfit for the kingdom of God, and this desire for salvation must be shown to the Lord by prayer to Him and the feasible fulfillment of His will, and constant repentance...” (Hegumen Nikon (Vorobiev))
“You should always thank God. What we have, we don’t value, but when we lose it, we cry. Don’t forget to thank the Lord for everything: for waking up, for sending food, for seeing the beauty of the earth, for living through the day, for everything good, for His patience, for sending trials... » (Archbishop Gabriel (Ogorodnikov))
“Each one serve God in the place where you are called. If you are a priest, shepherd the flock diligently, like a good shepherd, laying down your soul for the sheep; if you are a monk - be an example of all moral qualities, an earthly angel - a heavenly person, and if you are a family member... - dear families, you are the basis of life, you are a small church (Archimandrite Tavrion (Batozsky))
“Pray when you have feelings and health, do not put off prayer until the last minute of your life until the last hour. It’s good to pray during the day, but night prayer is incomparable...” (Hieromonk Daniel (Fomin))
“Fight sin - know your business... Humiliation is good... You should always blame yourself... There should be no attachment to anyone or anything, only to God... We must strive for God, seek the Divine , what to become attached to a person.”
“Just as a bee collects honey from flowers, so a person must learn good things from every person... The Lord gave good talents to each person, and from these Lord’s talents you must take as much as you can, as much as circumstances allow. And throw away the bad, both your own and someone else’s: try to eradicate your own evil, and immediately discard someone else’s bad. And you should never gloat. The Lord has hidden many things from us; Much of our own is closed. Many great sinners became great righteous people when they realized their sins and repented. And many former righteous people died because of pride and conceit. Everyone must believe and firmly know that no one with his own strength and reason and good deeds can be saved without God. And we are all saved by a great sacrifice. This sacrifice is the Son of God, who suffered for us and shed His most pure blood for us.” (Elder Theodore (Sokolov))
“The consciousness that you are not moving forward spiritually will serve as self-reproach... Whatever happens to you, never blame anyone but yourself. Thank God for all your troubles and adversities. If you believe in God’s providence and trust Him, you will find great peace.” (Reverend Barnabas (Elder of Radonezh))
“... In everyday life, it is important not to let yourself be oppressed by thoughts about material things, not to tremble over them, but to maintain a certain indifference towards them. Possessing this quality, we will be able not only to be more free spiritually, but also to conduct all our affairs more easily...
The best way to prepare for the future is to live the present as best as possible... We need to live in the present... We should first of all be concerned with what we are in the present, with the state in which we can presently appear before Christ.” (Archimandrite Sergius (Shevich))
“We must cultivate in ourselves the spirit of meekness, humility, kindness, long-suffering and moderation in all actions. And in order to have such a disposition of spirit in oneself, one must remember the general weakness of man, the general tendency to sin, especially one’s great infirmities and sins, as well as the endless mercy of God towards us, which has forgiven and forgives us many and serious sins. our repentance and supplication.
The Lord said: “I want mercy, not sacrifice.” He, the much-merciful One, also wants from us mercy, mercy, kindness and patience towards our neighbors. He is always ready to help us in every good deed. If you have an evil heart, ask in repentance that He soften your heart, make you meek and long-suffering, and it will be so.” (Schiarchimandrite Theophilus (Rossokha))
“We must relieve each other when we see that a person is having a hard time; you need to approach him, take on his burden, lighten him, help in any way you can... By doing this,... living with them, you can completely renounce your self, completely forget about him. When we have this and prayer, then we will not be lost anywhere, no matter where we go and no matter who we meet.”
“We must fight against pride. Pray to God, asking for His help, and God will help you get rid of all passions... Don’t lose heart and don’t be discouraged. Pray to God with faith and complete trust in His mercy. For God, everything is possible, but we, for our part, should not think that we are worthy of special care from God. This is where pride lies. But God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Be attentive to yourself. All the trials that befall us, illnesses and sorrows, are not without a reason. But if you endure everything without complaint, then the Lord will not leave you without rewards. If not here on earth, then in every possible way in heaven.
Let us humble ourselves under the strong hand of God and completely surrender ourselves to the will of God and find peace of mind.” (Elder Stefan (Ignatenko))
“Achieve the simplicity that only perfect humility gives. This cannot be explained in words; it can only be learned through experience. And in God and for God one can live only in humility and simplicity. Achieve in humility love simple, holy, perfect, embracing prayer for everyone. And with mercy towards the weak, the sick, the incomprehensible, the unfortunate, those mired in sins, imitate your heavenly patrons - the saints. Try to acquire heavenly joy so that you can rejoice with the angel at the repentance of every lost person.” (Elder Zechariah)
“Evil does not destroy evil, but if someone does you evil, do good to him, so that with a good deed you can destroy evil.
If you want to receive the Kingdom of Heaven, hate all earthly possessions... Evil lust perverts the heart and changes the mind. Remove it from yourself so that the Holy Spirit does not grieve you.
Do nothing of your own free will, feel the presence of God in every place, and therefore do everything as before God, and not before people.” (Elder of Glinsk Schema-Archimandrite Andronik)
“If you don’t fall, you won’t know repentance. If you are slandered, if good is returned with evil, do not keep evil in your heart. Forgive and rejoice, because thanks to this you have moved several steps closer to God... Whoever prays to himself will rise... Realize your weakness... Conscience is a particle of God in your heart.
Don't worry about the flesh, think about the salvation of the soul. He who has conquered his tongue and belly is already on the right path... Without sorrows you will not be saved... The man who does not see his sins and thinks a lot about himself is daring. All those who are proud and conceited in heart are vile in the sight of the Lord.
Other people's sins are none of your business. You sit and cry about your sins... Breaking a promise is a great sin... You must have one fear - the fear of committing a sin.
Without knowing the spiritual state of your neighbor, do not give advice. Your advice could ruin him." (Archimandrite Gabriel (Urgebadze))
“...Beware of seeking gratitude. Never seek gratitude, but be grateful no matter how much someone receives. If you realize this, then you will have a great blessing from God... Because when God intends to help a person, for example, you, then He will send someone. This someone is random. Those. God sent him on occasion... Who am I, this random... The experience of my life has taught me that no one can help anyone with his problems until God's time comes. Then a solution will be given. Not as we want, but as He wants. This decision often hurts us, but as the years pass we will understand His wisdom.” (Schemonun Gabriel (Gerontissa Gabriel))
“You just have to eat food with the cross. When the time comes, everything will be poisoned. But if you cross with faith, you will live. And another person who drinks or eats the same thing without crossing himself will die.
Shut your mouth better, seven locks, as the holy fathers say, know your business: say the Jesus Prayer, how much good it brings in life. Silence is an angel's prayer. It cannot be compared with our human prayer... If we condemn our neighbor for some sin, it means that he still lives in us... When the soul is pure, it will never condemn. Because “judge not, lest ye be judged” (Matthew 7:1).” (Advice from Schema-nun Antonia)
“Food is a gift of God’s Love, a sacrifice of nature, and everyone should eat it with great reverence and prayer.” (Moscow Elder Olga)
“If you are married, what is the most important thing in marriage? Keep fasts. And if not, then live in purity and no lustful thoughts. Don't judge. Pray a lot. Loving God...Love covers a multitude of sins.”
To the spiritual daughter’s question: “Should I get married or not?” Schema-abbot Jerome answered like this: “Seek salvation. When a ship sinks at sea, sailors think about salvation, not about repairing the cabin. If marriage is salvation for you, then get married and don’t hesitate. And if this is a cabin on a sinking ship, then this is death. Seek salvation, and there the Lord will manage everything.
“Those who get up (to pray) at three o’clock in the morning receive gold, those who get up at five receive silver, and those who rise at six o’clock receive bronze.” (Sche-abbot Jerome (Verendyakin))
Elder Archimandrite Ippolit (Halin) in difficult situations he often advised his spiritual children: “Pray to St. Nicholas, and everything will work out.”
“You always need to blame yourself... There should be no attachment to anyone or anything, only to God... We must strive for God, seek the Divine, and become attached to a person... We must always remember the goal - salvation. This is the work of a lifetime... You have to take small steps, like a blind man. He lost his way - he knocks around with a stick, he can’t find it, suddenly he finds it - and again joyfully moves forward. The stick for us is prayer... Nothing comes quickly. And during life it may, and in the end it will not be given, but after death the virtues will surround you and lift you up.” (Elder of Glinsk Schema-Archimandrite John (Maslov))
When to Elder Leonty When people complained about everyday quarrels, he said: “Don’t take everything to heart, look past it.”
“What has been sent down is all from the Lord for healing, for correction. When they tell lies about you, thank them and ask for forgiveness. Only then will there be a reward when you are not to blame, but you are scolded..." (Elder Nicholas from Zalit Island)
Pyukhtitskaya Blessed Elder Catherine She advised me to live simply and not judge others. She said that pride is the absorber of all virtues, and the reason for condemnation is an inattentive spiritual life. The blessed old woman called on everyone to fight pride and humble themselves.
“Fast, pray, this is salvation...” (Blessed Elder Schema-Nun Makaria (Artemyeva))
“You must put your neighbor in the place where you yourself stand, which means you must first leave the place where you stand... Everywhere the self has seized everything for itself, does not want to give up anything to its neighbor, and how can the soul of a neighbor love when it feels that he takes everything away from her, having the same rights to everything as she does... You must take everything away from yourself in order to give everything up to your neighbor, and then, together with your neighbor, the soul will find the Lord... You must bear fruits worthy repentance, you need to work where you sinned, get up where you fell, correct what you ruined, save what you lost through your own negligence, your own passions. Salvation is possible in every place and in every matter... (Abbess Arsenia (Sebryakov))
Mother Arsenia said that, according to the advice of the holy fathers, one should not make any decision during times of mental confusion.
“By the power of the Life-giving Cross, save yourself and protect yourself. The enemy is advancing - we must definitely pray. Sudden death happens without prayer. The enemy is on the left shoulder, and the Angel is on the right. Cross yourself more often: the cross is the same lock as on the door... If old or sick people say something offensive to you, don’t listen to them, but help them...” (Blessed Matrona of Moscow)
“Don’t forget God, and God will not forget you.” (Balabanovsky Elder Ambrose)
“With tears, I ask and pray you, be the suns that warm those around you, if not everyone, then the family in which the Lord made you a member...
Be warmth and light for those around you; first try to warm your family with yourself, work on this, and then these works will attract you so much that for you the family circle will already be narrow, and these warm rays will over time capture more and more new people and the circle illuminated by you will gradually increase and increase; so be careful to keep your lamp burning brightly.” (Holy Righteous Alexy Mechev)
Faith in God surrounds a person from infancy. In childhood, this still unconscious choice is associated with family traditions that exist in every home. But later a person can consciously change his religion. How are they similar and how are they different from each other?
The concept of religion and the prerequisites for its appearance
The word “religion” comes from the Latin religio (piety, sacredness). This is an attitude, behavior, actions based on faith in something that surpasses human understanding and is supernatural, that is, sacred. The beginning and meaning of any religion is faith in God, regardless of whether he is personified or impersonal.
There are several known preconditions for the emergence of religion. Firstly, from time immemorial man has been trying to go beyond the boundaries of this world. He strives to find salvation and consolation beyond his borders and sincerely needs faith.
Secondly, a person wants to give an objective assessment of the world. And then, when he cannot explain the origin of earthly life only by natural laws, he makes the assumption that a supernatural force is attached to all this.
Thirdly, a person believes that various events and incidents of a religious nature confirm the existence of God. The list of religions for believers already serves as real proof of the existence of God. They explain this very simply. If God did not exist, there would be no religion.
The most ancient types, forms of religion
The origin of religion occurred 40 thousand years ago. It was then that the emergence of the simplest forms of religious beliefs was noted. It was possible to learn about them thanks to the discovered burials, as well as rock and cave paintings.
In accordance with this, the following types of ancient religions are distinguished:
- Totemism. A totem is a plant, animal or object that was considered sacred by one or another group of people, tribe, clan. The basis of this ancient religion was the belief in the supernatural power of the amulet (totem).
- Magic. This is a form of religion based on belief in human magical abilities. With the help of symbolic actions, a magician is able to influence the behavior of other people, natural phenomena and objects from a positive and negative side.
- Fetishism. From among any objects (an animal or human skull, a stone or a piece of wood, for example), one was selected to which supernatural properties were attributed. It was supposed to bring good luck and protect from danger.
- Animism. All natural phenomena, objects and people have a soul. She is immortal and continues to live outside the body even after its death. All modern types of religions are based on the belief in the existence of souls and spirits.
- Shamanism. The tribal leader or priest was believed to have supernatural powers. He entered into conversation with the spirits, listened to their advice and fulfilled their demands. Belief in the power of the shaman is at the core of this form of religion.
List of religions
There are more than a hundred different religious movements in the world, including ancient forms and modern movements. They have their own time of occurrence and differ in the number of followers. But at the heart of this large list are the three most numerous world religions: Christianity, Islam and Buddhism. Each of them has different directions.
World religions in the form of a list can be presented as follows:
1. Christianity (almost 1.5 billion people):
- Orthodoxy (Russia, Greece, Georgia, Bulgaria, Serbia);
- Catholicism (Western European countries, Poland, Czech Republic, Lithuania and others);
- Protestantism (USA, UK, Canada, South Africa, Australia).
2. Islam (about 1.3 billion people):
- Sunnism (Africa, Central and South Asia);
- Shiism (Iran, Iraq, Azerbaijan).
3. Buddhism (300 million people):
- Hinayana (Myanmar, Laos, Thailand);
- Mahayana (Tibet, Mongolia, Korea, Vietnam).
National religions
In addition, in every corner of the world there are national and traditional religions, also with their own directions. They originated or became particularly widespread in certain countries. On this basis, the following types of religions are distinguished:
- Hinduism (India);
- Confucianism (China);
- Taoism (China);
- Judaism (Israel);
- Sikhism (Punjab state in India);
- Shintoism (Japan);
- paganism (Indian tribes, peoples of the North and Oceania).
Christianity
This religion originated in Palestine in the Eastern part of the Roman Empire in the 1st century AD. Its appearance is associated with faith in the birth of Jesus Christ. At the age of 33, he suffered martyrdom on the cross to atone for human sins, after which he was resurrected and ascended to heaven. Thus, the son of God, who embodied supernatural and human nature, became the founder of Christianity.
The documentary basis of the doctrine is the Bible (or Holy Scripture), consisting of two independent collections of the Old and New Testaments. The writing of the first of them is closely related to Judaism, from which Christianity originates. The New Testament was written after the birth of religion.
Symbols of Christianity are the Orthodox and Catholic cross. The main provisions of faith are defined in dogmas, which are based on faith in God, who created the world and man himself. Objects of worship are God the Father, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit.
Islam
Islam, or Islam, originated among the Arab tribes of Western Arabia at the beginning of the 7th century in Mecca. The founder of the religion was the Prophet Muhammad. This man was prone to loneliness from childhood and often indulged in pious reflections. According to the teachings of Islam, at the age of 40, the heavenly messenger Jabrail (Archangel Gabriel) appeared to him on Mount Hira, who left an inscription in his heart. Like many other world religions, Islam is based on belief in one God, but in Islam he is called Allah.
Holy Scripture - Koran. The symbols of Islam are the star and crescent. The main provisions of the Muslim faith are contained in dogmas. They must be recognized and unquestioningly implemented by all believers.
The main types of religion are Sunnism and Shiism. Their appearance is associated with political disagreements between believers. Thus, Shiites to this day believe that only the direct descendants of the Prophet Muhammad carry the truth, while Sunnis think that this should be a chosen member of the Muslim community.
Buddhism
Buddhism originated in the 6th century BC. Its homeland is India, after which the teaching spread to the countries of Southeast, South, Central Asia and the Far East. Considering how many other most numerous types of religions exist, we can safely say that Buddhism is the most ancient of them.
The founder of the spiritual tradition is Buddha Gautama. This was an ordinary person, whose parents were awarded the vision that their son would grow up to be a Great Teacher. The Buddha was also lonely and brooding, and very quickly turned to religion.
There is no object of worship in this religion. The goal of all believers is to achieve nirvana, a blissful state of insight, to free themselves from their own shackles. Buddha for them represents a certain ideal that should be equaled.
At the heart of Buddhism is the teaching of the Four Noble Truths: about suffering, about the origin and causes of suffering, about the true cessation of suffering and the elimination of its sources, about the true path to the cessation of suffering. This path consists of several steps and is divided into three stages: wisdom, morality and concentration.
New religious movements
In addition to those religions that originated a long time ago, new faiths still continue to appear in the modern world. They are still based on faith in God.
The following types of modern religions can be noted:
- Scientology;
- neo-shamanism;
- neopaganism;
- Burkhanism;
- neo-Hinduism;
- Raelites;
- oomoto;
- and other currents.
This list is constantly modified and supplemented. Some types of religions are especially popular among show business stars. For example, Tom Cruise, Will Smith, and John Travolta are seriously interested in Scientology.
This religion arose in 1950 thanks to science fiction writer L. R. Hubbard. Scientologists believe that every person is inherently good, his success and peace of mind depend on himself. According to the fundamental principles of this religion, people are immortal beings. Their experience lasts longer than one human life, and their abilities are unlimited.
But everything is not so simple in this religion. In many countries it is believed that Scientology is a sect, a pseudo-religion with a lot of capital. Despite this, the trend is very popular, especially in Hollywood.
CHILDREN - THE WAY TO SALVATION
Human life, according to God's Providence, goes through three states: in the womb, from birth to death and in the afterlife. If we know (or assume that we know) a lot about the second and third, then we know nothing about the first except that “the Spirit of God created me, and the breath of the Almighty gave me life” (Job, 33, 4).
From a church point of view, human life begins after conception. All the holy fathers who expressed their opinion on this subject (Basily the Great, Gregory the Theologian, John Chrysostom, Maximus the Confessor, Ephraim the Syrian, etc.) are unanimous in this. In a microscopic cell formed from the fusion of maternal and paternal cells, the entire future of a person is already laid down, his gender, blood type, even the color of his eyes and hair - all this already exists and will only develop and come to light in the future. All that is needed to form an adult from this small cell is nutrition and time. In it, from the moment of conception, there is an immortal soul, which, unlike the body, the physical shell, no one has the power to dismember or kill. And which, like the souls of the parents, will appear before the Almighty at the Last Judgment. According to the Monk Ephraim the Syrian, “whoever died in his mother’s womb and did not enter into life, he (the Judge) will make him an adult at the same instant in which he returns life to the dead (in the general Resurrection)... Those who have not seen each other here will see each other there and the mother will know that it is her son, and the son will know that it is his mother..."
Children are a blessing from God, they are a parent’s path to salvation. According to the Apostle Paul, “a woman... will be saved through childbearing if she continues in faith and love and in holiness with chastity” (1 Tim. 2:15). But children are also a gift from God, and like any of His gifts, they should be received with gratitude and preserved with dignity (remember the parable of the talents). Raising children as Christians is our duty to the Creator. But on our own, without His help, without the Most Pure Mother of God and the saints of God, we are unlikely to be able to do this. Conscious of the fullness of parental responsibility for children, we want to help believing parents - with the advice of Orthodox saints and modern priests, on the basis of which we have compiled answers to the most concerning questions for parents.
About the reasons for childlessness
In the Sacrament of Marriage, among other things, Christian spouses are given the grace of bearing and raising children. But by their sins people can deprive themselves of this grace. In this case, you need to confess to the priest, bringing sincere repentance, correct your life in accordance with the commandments of the Lord and hope for the mercy of God (let us remember the righteous saints Zechariah and Elizabeth, the parents of John the Baptist, and the holy Godfather Joachim and Anna). You can, with the blessing of your confessor, make and fulfill a vow to the Lord in the event of a successful birth of a child. Turning to sorcerers, "grandmothers", psychics is a great sin that can only aggravate the situation. It is possible to consult doctors with the blessing of the priest. “Through doctors, through medicine, You, Lord, help! Mother of God, heal!” (prayer of schema-abbot Savva). The Church does not bless artificial conception in a test tube, a “surrogate mother” and other similar methods. If it is impossible to have your own children, it is better, with the consent of the spouses, to adopt or take care of strangers, take care of children from orphanages, from large families, and help in raising relatives and godchildren.
About the birth of sick children
“Parental sin affects children, they suffer and suffer. And we ourselves are to blame.” Priest Alexy Grachev (+1998), who worked as a pediatrician in a Moscow maternity hospital before being ordained, suggests that perhaps this fallen world still holds on only because there are children who, with their suffering, tip the scales of our godlessness and unrepentance. The destinies of these children will be revealed in eternity. Diseases and “abnormalities” are phenomena only of earthly life. If God did not create death, then even more so He did not create disease. Saint Theophan the Recluse said: “Idiots are idiots only for us, and not for themselves and not for God. Their spirit grows in its own way. It may happen that we, the wise, will turn out to be worse than idiots. And children are all the angels of God.” .
About fasting and the way of life of an Orthodox woman,
expecting a child
In a Christian marriage, husband and wife receive the blessing of becoming not just fathers and mothers of their children, “but co-workers with God in the creation of a new person.” “Christian parents can directly influence the spiritual well-being of their children by surrounding them with love and prayer from the very moment of conception” (nun Magdalene). During pregnancy, the mother should focus all her attention on loving her baby, how to keep him in the womb, and pray for this. It is necessary to confess and partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ as often as possible (after all, in the Sacrament of Communion we are sanctified, uniting with the body and blood of Christ, and this is the guarantee of spiritual, mental and physical health not only of the mother, but also of her unborn child. It is especially important to accept Holy Communion during the so-called “critical periods of pregnancy” by doctors (3-4, 12, 28, 36 weeks) and at a time when the child’s internal organs and systems are formed and formed, so that all his feelings are initially sanctified by the Grace of God. So, approximately on the 23rd day, the fetus’s heart begins to beat (this is written in detail in the medical literature)).
The impressions that a child receives during the prenatal period significantly influence his physical, mental and spiritual state. All maternal thoughts and feelings are transmitted to him. If a pregnant woman drinks wine, smokes, or leads an immoderate married life, then we can assume that, by God’s permission, her child may be born passionate, predisposed to these sins, with the beginnings of fornication, drunkenness, anger, and all the vices and passions.
The father's attitude towards the unborn baby is very important. According to the observations of midwives, the newborn recognizes the father's voice because even before birth he heard it near his mother. It is also known that even in the mother’s womb, children are able to sense the presence of God. Let us remember Saint John the Baptist, who leaped in his mother’s womb when he felt the presence of the incarnate Lord. In the life of St. Sergius of Radonezh we read that he cried out three times from his mother’s womb at the most important moments of the Divine Liturgy, which, by the way, does not contradict the ideas of scientists. In the book “Life before birth” (M., “Knowledge”, 1991) by A. Brusilovsky, Doctor of Medical Sciences, Professor, Head of the Department of Histology and Embryology of the Crimean Medical Institute, on p. 109 we read: “Reports that a fetus is capable of making sounds may seem fantastic. In foreign literature, 82 cases of the cry of an unborn baby have been cited. The reasons for this phenomenon are unknown. The mechanism of the cry is difficult to explain...”
We must not forget such powerful means as the sign of the cross and the Jesus Prayer. Thus, one elder advised a mother preparing for childbirth to imprint the newborn baby with a spiritual seal by constantly saying the Jesus Prayer (“Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God (through the prayers of the Mother of God), have mercy on me, a sinner”) throughout her stay in the maternity hospital, even during childbirth (by the way, it is known that women who prayed during childbirth had it easily and almost without pain).
According to the canons of the Church, there is no strict fasting for pregnant and nursing mothers. In each specific case, the woman must talk to the priest and take his blessing. We must remember that fasting is not a refusal of fast food, but of sin, our intention to correct our life and conduct it in a godly manner.
What to do when there is a threat of losing a child during pregnancy?
Trust in the mercy of the Lord, pray to the Lord (there is a special “Prayerful sigh of a pregnant woman whom God has blessed with the fruit of the womb”), the Mother of God (“Prayerful sigh of a Christian wife during pregnancy”), Her miraculous icons (“Mammal Mother”, “Helper in childbirth", "Blessed womb", Albazin icon "The Word became flesh", "Quick to Hear", "Healer", "The Sign", "Feodorovskaya", etc.). The Monk Ambrose of Optina advised one spiritual daughter, who feared for a successful outcome of childbirth, to serve a prayer service to the Icon of the Mother of God of Feodorovskaya and read an akathist to her every day.
The book “Akathist of Repentance...” describes a case “From the story of the Balashikha priest I..”, when a child died in the womb of the priest’s wife, and an abortion was necessary for medical reasons. The couple could not decide on it, and the priest went for advice to the Trinity-Sergius Lavra. Having returned, he told his wife: “...The fathers said: do not have an abortion under any circumstances, but rely on the will of God... You need to drink blessed water and often baptize the fetus in the womb with your hand.” That's what mother did. He drinks holy water and baptizes the fruit with his hand. And the doctor, once again making rounds of the patients, told her that the fetus was dead and there was nothing to hope for, she needed to hurry up with an abortion. When the second week of her stay in the hospital began, one day during a round the doctor came up to her, listened and said with a wry smile:
- Strange. The fruit came to life. But all the same, you need to do a “purge” (abortion), because the birth will be a freak, a sick one. And the birth will be difficult and pathological.
“No,” mother said firmly. - As God willing. And I will give birth.
And now, the time has come for her to give birth. And the birth was the easiest in her life. And the child was born healthy, contrary to all the doctor’s predictions. There was only one strange thing about this birth: a girl was born, but before only boys were born. Trust God, not doctors. For those who trust in God will not perish, and those who trust in the Lord will not be put to shame.”
Is artificial termination of pregnancy permissible?
Killing a child in the womb of the mother is a mortal sin; both the woman who wants to get rid of the child in this way sins (but his soul is eternal, and their meeting will happen anyway - how then will she justify herself to him?), and the man who her sends to this, and the doctor with whose hands the murder is committed (American doctor Bernard Nathanson, an abortion specialist, repented after filming an ultrasound image of what happens in the womb with a 12-week-old child during an abortion using the "vacuum" method -aspiration." His film, called "The Silent Scream", is a documentary evidence of the child's experiences at the moment when he is killed - with the consent of the mother. The feeling of anxiety, fear from the approaching murder weapon, pain at the moment of death (after all, anesthesia is given during abortion woman, but it has no effect on a child).
“Whoever deliberately destroyed a fetus conceived in the womb is subject to condemnation as for murder,” writes St. Basil the Great (canon 2). The consequences of this already occur here, in this life: a feeling of unaccountable fear, guilt, shame, deep despondency and melancholy, insomnia, nightmares, physical and mental disorders, sometimes leading to death; craving for alcohol, drugs; already born children do not obey, those born again - if born - are sick; families are breaking up... But “for the Lord there is no unforgivable sin except unrepentant sin.” A woman who has had an abortion must confess to a priest, who will listen to her and assign her penance - the means necessary to calm her troubled conscience. In addition, with the blessing of the priest, a woman can read “Akathist of repentance for women who killed babies in the womb”, “Prayer to the Merciful Lord for deliberately ruined souls in the womb”, do good deeds, and give alms.
How can the Church help childless spouses?
Through the Sacraments - marriages (if the spouses are not married in the church), confession, Eucharist (Communion), unction; through prayer (you can order a magpie for the health of the spouses); prayer service (there is also a special “Prayer of the spouses for the gift of children”) - to the Lord, the Mother of God, the saints of God - the prophet Zechariah and the righteous Elizabeth, the righteous Joachim and Anna, the Venerable David of Gareji, the Venerable Roman the Wonderworker, the Venerable Hypatius of Ruthian, the Venerable Euthymius the Great, the infant martyr John of Kiev-Pechersk, Great Martyr Catherine, Martyr Paraskeva-Pyatnitsa, Venerable Melania the Roman, Venerable Alexander of Svirsky (on the gift of a male child), Saint Tsar-Redeemer Nicholas, Martyr-Tsarina Alexandra, Tsarevich Alexy, the schema-youth Bogolep of Astrakhan, martyr- baby Gabriel of Bialystok. Spouses can go to venerate the relics of saints of God, miraculous icons, and to monasteries for advice from experienced spiritual fathers.
But, expecting help, they must acquire it - through their faith, prayer, fasting, purity of life, and fidelity. For example, Schema-Abbess Savva advised one woman who came to his monastery in May 1974: “Do you want to have a child? Let’s pray together. You pray for me, and I for you, and our common prayer will be heard by the Lord. Read each one day troparion to the Tikhvin Icon of the Mother of God and St. Nicholas the Wonderworker. When you return to Moscow, be sure to go to church, order a prayer service with the blessing of water to the Tikhvin Mother of God and St. Nicholas the Wonderworker, then consecrate the entire apartment and bed. If a daughter is born, you will name her Maria, and if you have a son - Nikolai. Just don’t forget and do as I told you.” On March 6, 1975, her daughter Maria was born in Bratislava (Czechoslovakia). Having received such a gift from the Lord through the prayer of schema-abbot Savva, she and her husband tried to raise their daughter in faith in God (Memoirs of L.A. Belovichova).
Another contemporary testimony is given in the book about Saint Theodosius, the Caucasian (Jerusalem) miracle worker: “My daughter could not get pregnant, she had miscarriages. Someone told her to ask Father Theodosius for a child. My daughter had a daughter.” (Maria Kamynina, Mineralnye Vody, Levokumka village).
Read more about these and other questions
can be found in the following literature:
1. Prayer for children / Comp. S. Davydov. St. Petersburg: Svetloyar, 1996.
2. Prayers for help with family needs / Comp. G. Shcherbina. M.: Blagovest, 1997.
3. Priest A. Grachev. When children are sick: advice from a doctor-priest. M., 1996.
4. Why do children get sick? M.: BLAGO Center, 1996.
5. Priest Sergiy Filimonov. To help the sick. St. Petersburg, 1998.
6. Schema-abbot Savva. Experience in building a Christian worldview (The Path to Perfect Joy). Perm, 1998.
7. Sister Magdalene. Thoughts about children in the Orthodox Church today. M., 1992.
8. Priest T. Alferov. A word to those who came to the christening. St. Petersburg, 1990.
9. Priest Al. Zakharov. A word about abortion. Perm, 1997.
10. Addition to the newspaper "Our Light". Љ 5, 17/30 October 1991
11. Life of Saint Theodosius of Jerusalem (various editions).
12. Akathist of repentance for women who destroyed babies in their wombs. M., 1995.
